How To Know He/She Is The One?
Do you have some free time? Maybe we can help a good friend of mine Ms Azuwachan with her question.
Problem - She is currently in doubt with her feeling. She is not sure whether or not she is in love with this person or not. so she asked "How to make sure that you REALLY like someone" and how should she best handle the situation.
Pondering about this does bring up lots of memories hehe. This is what I think about it.
- Continue -
Labels: love, Relationship, request
When To Voice Out Your Inner Voice
A good friend of mine, Ms Intan had previously asked my opinion on a subject which is "When to give advice?". Well this is what I think.
However as always, there will be few factors one need to consider before giving any advice.
- Must be very sure of the advice. Don't advise anyone to walk in the dark, when you are not sure where the cliff is
- It is always better if the giver practise the advice first before advising others. However we must know that the advice will always be more important than the giver. A drug addict advises us not to use drug is a good advice. And we should take it irregardless of the giver condition.
- If the person ask for advice then it is almost an obligation for you to help. Who else will help?
- However if the person clearly say no advice needed. we should know what to do. Some people prefer to settle their problem their way, and this is a good quality.
- Sometime pople asked for help, but when we offered the help or advice it's like "curahkan air kedaun keladi". He expect us to agree and back him up. Truthfully, I always get annoyed with this people. And I usually just back away.
- It is very important that you believe your advice is beneficial or at least better. Friend A is giving advice to B about how smoking will make him look more cool. Obviously you disagree, (advice against smoking is always better).. it would be wrong if you don't stated your stand there.
- The advice must be beneficial to the receiving person, not to you. For example, your best friend has a crush on a girl, and he asked for your advice. once you see the girl, you decided to sabotage this friend of yours so that you will have better chance with her. you then advise your friend to run her with a motorcycle... that's wouldn't just be non-ethical... that's plain evil.
- The correct method in giving advice
- How to decide right from left - Making decision part 1
- Or you can do this - Making decision part 2
- Last option to choose an option - Making decision part 3
There are millions of reason why we should not interfere. But how do we live our life when we see a child learning to smoke in front of us.. and all we do is look the other way. Aren't we all related?
Tips For First Day At Work
Dear friends... For your information, Alfattah will be starting her first day at work this coming Wednesday. And she would appreciate if everyone could give some advice on her first day. Congratulation sis...
Let me start by laying out some lessons I personally learnt during my first day. You probably knew most of them already, but it is in my opinion that important to be repeated
That's why it is called first impression. Only the first one will count. So.. be presentable. Dress suitably, Get enough sleep the day before. If you are excited like I was, you will not be able to sleep anyway, but no worry :)
You must realize that work is work.. It's not like studying. And you are expected to work the first day you reported in, even though people say you can start later. So do some research on what your job scope is (MOST IMPORTANT), Prepare some question to ask on your work. Of course they will allow you some familiarisation period. But seriously you need to show that you are not some student doing practical training. You are there to work. Ask question if you don't understand but please try to research the answer yourself first.
Believe me, the first few month of your work will be very demanding. You are expected to know everything as fast as you can, and in the mean time, all daily task need to be done. So be strong kay. it will get easier.. I promise
Do not be shy, I made a fatal mistake of being a bit shy making friends when I started working. As a result after a year gone by, I still don't know the name of a few of my staff. It's very hard to work with a person if the two of you are strangers to each other. So make friends... Of course you will have to screen them eventually. Not all can be made friend.
As you are the new person, you are allowed to ask their name again should you forget. "Sori ye, tak ingat lah pulak nama, boleh saya tau sekali lagi?"
Make a mental note, you will be surprise with the working culture there. So keep your mind as opened as possible, because if not, you will start to be uncomfortable with everything. You cannot change the culture there on your first day. So go along with it.. For example, you see people got yelled in public because they are late for work... don't freak out just yet. Just nod, and try to be early to avoid that kind of embarassment. observe and adapt... later we'll change the culture
This is the fun part. You will see many people testing you. Yes.. testing you. They want to know what kind of person you are. So be smart with them. observe and listen. You will figure out the type of people in no time. Typically, there will always be
- people who's good
- people who's a suck up
- people who's manipulative
- people who's just plain annoying
After reading all this tips, you may start to be a bit nervous. Don't... actually if you notice, there's no reason to be. All you're doing, is coming to work with an open mind. it is not hard at all to do.
So again, congratulation sis... I pray all the best for you :)
Love really is the most mysterious thing in the world. People have been discussing on what love really is since the beginning of time itself. So don't be surprised if you are confused. Everybody knows that love exist, but nobody can really put a definition on love.
Being confused on your feeling is actually a good thing. With other friends, you either like or dislike, period. Bestfriends maybe you like more. But to this person, it will be very confusing. He makes you feel so comfortable like a friend, but most of the time, he makes you feel special. And when he did something bad, the hate and sadness can sometimes be very overwhelming. Seriously that is one of the key indication that you are in love with the guy. But of course there is other factor involved.
There are some things in a relationship that may have the same effect as love. They are not love per se, but they can be mistakenly felt like love. So let's try to eliminate them
- Is he just a crush?
Crush is actually the same as instant love. You see him, and you felt in love completely... Now how to know whether it is a crush or not? Just check if you know anything about the guy. Crush almost always happen without you having the slightest information on the guy. For example, a crush with the new boy in school.- Is it due to gratitude?
Sometimes, people go to great deals to help you, with no expectation to get rewarded. You can sometimes feel like owing so much from him that you may feel like liking him more. That's not love, that's just your subconcious mind trying to reduce the feeling of gratitude. So check yourself, you will know the answer once you know the question.. (wow very abstract of me)- Is it due to him being famous? (Edited)
Some people is just so good with people, and they instantly can attract others to like them with their sense of humor, or their knowledge. Usually they are quite famous with people around then. We may like them so much (because they are simply very likeable) that we confused the feeling with love.There are other factors but I think these three are the most important ones. Usually when we've already eliminate these factors, it will be clear that you love him for no apparent reason. Usually that is love :)
All said, love is never a matter we can explain. You love someone, you just know it. You define yourself what is love to you and you honor it. Up until now, I can never describe what I love about my wife. Maybe I can describe them, but believe me the list will be a never ending ones, because I love everything about her, the good and bad and how they complete me.
I'm sure all friends have more interesting ideas on the big question. Do share..
For me, it is always better to give a chance to 10 wrong people, than to miss that one who is the one. - My quote eheh
Thanx for those requesting my opinion on a topic, I can promise that every request will be entertained, if I have any opinion on the matter of course. So I welcome any suggestion. Next request would be from UncleJ on Nurin's case.. Please allow me some time ya uncle :)